Hey, what's a Tri?
When you attempt things!
Hey, what's a state?
That can mean lots of things!
Hey, what's an area?
That means a few things too?
What's a tri state area?
Let me ..explain it!
Ok!

Let's measure the area of three states!

Alaska, Texas, California: 1,088,733 square miles = 1.05 quadrillion Twinkies
(if you lay them in the area)

New Jersey, New Hampshire and Vermont: 27,688 sq miles = 26.83 trillion Twinkies
(if you lay them in the area)

Rhode island, Delaware, Connecticut: 9,043 sq miles = 8.76 trillion Twinkies
(if you put them in the area)

Americans eat 500 million Twinkies each year, so at our current rate it'd take 17,520 years to eat the area of Rhode Island, Delaware and Connecticut combined. Why, even on the District of Columbia alone you could lay 66.13 billion Twinkies, taking 132.26 years.

That's not so bad.. if everyone eats twice as much as they usually do, that's only 66 years (to eat them all)! We should do it! We should put a bunch of twinkies in Washington D.C.

Well, there already are a bunch of twinkies in Washington D.C. (airheads!)

But hey, did you know that uncompressed twinkies consist of 68% air?

It's not funny, but it's true!

And it reminds me of 3 other states: solid, liquid and gas. Hmm, let's see!

When water freezes at zero degrees Celsius, its volume increase by about 9%. And when a liquid, like water, turns into a gas, well it goes all over the place and, how're you gonna measure that anyway? And it's not really an area so much as volume, but it depends on the shape.... (unintelligible)

I'm bored! I'm sad! I'm vexated!

Hey! Those are states too! Mental states! Everybody, shave your heads... ...okay, good GOOD! Now ready your markers, and circle the areas of your brain that are affected as you hear them!

Let's measure the area of three states!

Abulia, fugue, agitation
Anhedonia, doubt, botheration
Interestedness, confusion, anxiety
Consciousness, delusion, psychopathy
Identity crisis, nervousness, depression
Enchantment, amnesia, dissassociation
Trauma, hypnosis, depersonalization
Wonder, certainty, preoccupation
Morale, hallucinosis, elation

Now you know your 1, 2, 3's. Go ahead and eat Twinkies!