If you wanna clean my room, that's okay
If you wanna mop the floor, that's okay
If you wanna use a broom, that's okay
If you wanna restore the wood on my dresser, that's okay

The 5 inches of dust just remind me how old I am
And the dog hair on the carpet prevents me from slamming
the door before I toss more bottles to the floor

But please leave something for the spiders!
The spiders are swell.
They eat lots of bugs.
When they catch their prey
they give it a hug
by wrapping it up inside a cocoon
to paralyze it, and then they consume!

Yes, this dried food is disgusting
But I'm just tryin' to feed the buggies
Who hopefully will eat them
so they can feel the snuggies
When spidey comes to capture
Their souls per the process
But this wouldn't be happenin' if our rooms were so spotless

So, go right ahead and clean up the place
it'd save me some time, and I'd think it the bomb.
Plus I'd sooo like to see the look on your face
when I accidentally call you "mom".