Don't wanna get your hands dirty
Don't wanna leave a trace round here
Don't you fret (x2) cause there's a way
You can be in the free & clear

For only the cost of a cup of coffee
I'm willing to sell to you
This brand new set of hands
Think of all the things you can do

You can shred like that guy in Whitesnake
You could rule on the Wii
You can give somebody the finger
And I mean that literally
You could cook like Morimoto
You could slap someone's derriere
And then when they ask you can say "It wasn't my hand, I swear"


Chorus

I sell hands wholesale
Buy more today
Get some handsome hands and clap along to this song


I don't promote nefarious acts
But you'd leave no fingerprints
You could learn martial arts
If you buy a set with an Iron Fist
You'll give smooshy high-fives
You can write the great American novel
Who needs inspiration
All you need are my hands and a pencil

(Chorus)


Spoken Ramblings
We have many styles to choose from, including the Blinged-Out Hand, the Pianoman Hand, and the Lonely Saturday Night Hand. No matter which hand you pick out, you'll win hands-down. A hand in the hand is worth two in the arm, or... something like that. Anyway. You know what I could use is another mouth, so I could barrage you with more sales at the same time. That would be sweet! Come on down where you can see, hear, feel, and talk to the hands.