I was keepin' it clean and mindin' my own business when that was exactly what my top-loader didn't. I took out my clothes, found they were composed of fabric and thread and... barbecue chicken.

I see oil stains, and patches of plaster, but they're just work jeans.
Naw it's a natural disaster. I lathered them up with bars of Coast and Dial but the filth won't flee. This dirt's in denial! It's a...

CHORUS
State (STATE!) of Emergency! (HEY! HEY!)
My soap has low detergency
Apparently it cannot clean all by itself...
State (STATE!) of Emergency! (HEY! HEY!)
My soap has low detergency
Forfeit to authority your laundry shelf

We know your stock, and we know your address. We'll wash your brain if you won't grant us access. The goo must be gone from this dirty bomb, and that cannot happen when we're lacking surfactants. We've got grape stains, and Coke and coffee. Your loss is my Gain so let's get it frothy. Turn over the Tide so the tides can turn on my pant pairs with chocolate eclaires. I declare a

<CHORUS>

<SOLO>

State of Emergency!
This coat used to be burgundy!
What terrorist has added bleach to bleed my load?
Oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh OH NOOOOOO!