VERSE (pt 1, performed by Errol)
I'm a pure cane lover, a natural high.
I'm the real deal, I can satisfy.
I ain't fo' tricks, I ain't for show.
I'm a sugar cane lover, pure as driven snow.

VERSE (pt 2, performed by Charlie Cheney)
Artificial sweetners, got nothin' on us!
Baby they're nothin' but scab pus.
Fructose is sweet, but it's yesterday's news
so honey get off that limp ballyhoo!

CHORUS
I don't know what you've been told
but our sugar's sweetened gold
baby take a taste and see
there is nothing sweeter than me!

VERSE (pt 3, performed by The Cow Exchange)
Ain't gonna find something fake about me
I'm the polar opposite of hypocrisy (like Mr. Rogers)
You may like big, you may like strong
But stick to this sweetness and you can't go wrong...baby baby!

VERSE (pt 4, performed by Pigfarmer Jr)
Now they call us the SugarKrew
Better watch out, cuz we're too sweet for you
If you want something light and thin
Better go on cuz we're sweet as sin

<CHORUS>

BRIDGE (performed by John Crossman)
Corny syrup's on the rise
but we make up for size
in the form of high quality.
Baby won't you let me in... your blood stream

RAP BREAK (performed by G Slade)
No sucralose nor aspartame can
substantiate, just imitate
my flava'; it's uncompromised.
Arrives a whole lot betta' than advertised.
Splenda is bitter; Equal is dry.
I'm a pure cane lover, for that natural high.
I'm as hard as rock candy but you make me melt.
You got some of my syrup on your belt... sorry.

<CHORUS x2>

REPRISE!